You always hear crazy stories on the news or friends that are going through traumatic situations or times in their life, and always think that would never be me. I was one of those people who constantly thought like that. Sure there were acquaintances, friend of a friend, or someone i barely knew from high school over the years that had passed away. (which of course was still so sad). But never anyone extremely close to me. That all changed for me on April 7th , 2013. I not only lost my ex boyfriend of four years, I lost a best friend and a piece of me.
Sunday April 7th 2013:
At the time i was employed at a hydroponics shop in pleasant hill working almost 7 days a week. I was always exhausted basically running the shop by myself. But sundays were always my favorite day because I closed the shop at 2:30 (instead of the normal closing time which was 7:00). I remember that day the weather was overcast, windy, and slightly cold outside. It was a slow day as well so time was moving by pretty slow. Finally around 12:00 I got maybe my 2nd or 3rd customer of the day. A regular i saw usually at least once a week. My regulars and I were pretty close we always engaged and got carried away in conversation. As i Helped my customer with the items he needed while we chatted and caught up at the same time I received a text message from a old friend Becky, One I knew and was very close with over the four years I dated Jimmy. The text message read: "Taylor I am so sorry if there is anything you need at all please let me know". Immediately it was strange and couldn't help but wonder what the hell she was talking about. Not to mention it was April at the time and me and jimmy split the previous september. We still kept in touch but I tried not to communicate too much for the break up was extremely rough on him. Minutes after I received the Text message from my friend Becky a random phone number was calling my phone, although it was random the number had looked some what familiar. As I ignored the first call ( due to the fact my customer was still in the store finishing paying). The number began to call again, this time i asked the customer to excuse me because of the text I received from Becky I was curious to know what the hell was going on. As I answered the phone the voice on the other end was instantly recognizable. It was Matt aka Stout one of Jimmy's long time friends and a roommate of Jimmy and I'S when we first got together. His voice sounded shaky asking for Jimmy's mom's number. I hate to say it but I immediately knew what was going on, and at that very moment my heart began to race, my body began to shake and I went numb instantly from the shock. I then asked matt why he needed Jimmy's mom's number and he asked me if I wanted to sit down. I told him to tell me what was going on again, and thats when i heard the worst two words i have ever heard in my life.. "Jimmy's Dead". I immediately dropped to the floor and ask why, what happened, how did this happen. And Matt responded with he overdosed on Oxy. A nightmare I faced for a long time with jimmy was just that. Part of the reason I stayed with Jimmy as long as I did was because I worried about him every night going to bed and not waking up. Which ended up being part of the reason i eventually got enough strength to leave him because I could not continue take the stress or worry everyday about that situation. Instantly I could not talk to Matt anymore, In fact words could not come out. I sat on the ground outside of my work hysterically crying and not being able to make sense of any of this. I wanted nothing more then to wake up from this nightmare, all i could think of was not Jimmy.. not him. That day I became one of those people that it did happen to, I lost something so incredibly close to me that he took some of me with him when he left. The service and Funeral were tough... seeing him in that open casket felt like a knife piercing through my heart. As many times as I laid my head on his chest watching movies on the couch or in bed made me realize how much i took that warm heart beat for granite. The chest now was ice cold and silent. And his body hard like a rock. I couldn't help but apologize over and over again for any pain I caused this poor innocent man. Jimmy was a man that touched so many people and so many lives that so many were affected by his passing. It was so unbelievable to so many of us, It still has not fully hit me. I visit Jimmy's Grave often, and talk to him almost daily about life. Although i Cannot hear his response or see him there, I know he is listening and his presence is the strongest it has ever been. As hurt as we all are with loosing such an incredible human being, I know jimmy is with god now in heaven. His faith and bond with God was Unbreakable. And I looked up to him for that, (as I still do). So as i part with this I do love you Jimmy and always will, you have such a big place in my heart and it constantly aches for you. Keep protecting your friends, family, and mine. God couldn't have given me a better guardian angel. Fly high. I love you. Rest in Peace Jimmy Tucker.
